Friday, August 27, 2010

Why Fruity Pebbles are a Poor Investment

    All nutritional concerns aside, Fruity Pebbles have got to be the worst breakfast cereal consistently available on the market.  Now, I like tiny things, bright colors and the Flinstones as much as the next person,  but not one of these components is prevalent enough to right this disaster of a product.

Okay, let me break down the Pebble experience:
1. Take one bowl of dry, crunchy, beautiful, vibrant little Fruity Pebbles. 
2. Add one cup fucking ice cold 2% milk
3. Observe as your bowl of treasure turns to bullshit
4. Consume what has mysteriously transformed into room temperature porridge that tastes fruit scented rather than fruit flavored.

   The pebble, which consists mostly of sawdust, absorbs moisture not only depleting your milk but destroying its own integrity.  Additionally,  Fruity Pebbles possess the power to turn milk tepid upon impact despite how cold it might have been to start with. 

   You know how disappointing it is to eat the end of a box of cereal?  There is a smattering of intact cereal bits and then a lot of breakfast dust that turns to paste when the milk hits it.  That is every bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

    Purchase Fruity Pebbles only if Cap'n Crunch Oops! All Berries are not in season and you were set on eating a mistake.  Seriously, even if there is a toy inside, it isn't worth it.  Take a pass on the Pebbles.

1 comment:

  1. I agree one hundred percent. I am wondering what your thoughts on cocoa pebbles are?