Monday, September 20, 2010

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Molly's Wisdom Corner: An Ode to Tituba

 I have a quote, one from many Tuesdays ago, and I am dedicating it to my darling dead chicken (RIP Tituba) who was murdered Thursday night.

"Chickens are dinosaurs. If you're ever in doubt, look at a chicken foot." or something along those lines.

                                                             Tituba and Gretel

                                                                Silvie (the mama and protector)

Thursday, September 9, 2010


Hip Hip Horray dudes! Yeah, autumn is here. That's right, and you know what the ultimate flavor of autumn is? APPLE BUTTER!!!!

This is a series on apple butter makin. We all know apple butter is a true country time food, and there is nothing better than making your own tasty ass apple butter, canning it, and then sharing with friends and family ( although I do tend to keep like 80% of what I make for myself, but I'm also a greedy gut). We will start today with the collecting of the apples. You are going to need a crap ton since when you cook apples they end up being reduced to hardly anything.

There are apple trees in the parking lot of my mother's work. No one does anything with them! So, for the past four or five years we've been sneaking out there at night and picking a bunch. This is kind of silly. First of all, she works there, so who is gonna bust us? Second, no one wants them! So we might as well take what we can and actually use them instead of them falling to the ground and rotting. It does make it fun to sneak around at night though. This year we went on a Saturday at 3pm. and just loaded up a paper shopping bag and a whole big purple tote bag full. The cars were staring but they are the suckers cause I gots some FREE FOOD!

So you need to get some apples. I got a bunch of tiny free ones and I'm stoked to use them. Another viable option is to go to your local farmers market and hit up some awesome deals there.
I am a fool and walked to the market today and decided to purchase more apples. These ones were to eat, I swear, but a half a peck is a heck of a lot to eat when a person is about to leave town. So now I have more apple butter apples.

Store your apples in a cool dry place until you are ready to begin processing them.

You can also scout out places in your neighborhood and offer to help them out by cleaning up their apples so they don't rot. It's a win-win situation. They don't have a stinking fermented mess in their yards, and you have free apples to turn into pure autumn gold.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Snot Rocketing- or the environmentally friendly nose blow

Hey Friends!

In honor of the new month, and a new month of allergies, I will be writing a tutorial on how to blow ones nose without a handkerchief. To some this act may seem rude and ungentlemanly. Fear not! In this day in age, green living comes before all other chivalrous behavior, so jump on the tree huggin train and blow a booger out your nose.

The method described was formulated by a woman (me) who rides her damn bike all over the city in every type of weather, and is most effective for thick snot in the winter months and moderately effective for thinner allergy type drainage. It is least effective for the everyday booger or drip, in which case I recommend a good nose pick.

Step 1:  Decide which nostril is more clogged. This will help in fully clearing the passage without accidental double drainage.

Step 2: Press your index finger to the nostril opposite the most clogged one. Turn and tilt your head slightly (a 30 degree angle should do it) in the direction of the extremely clogged nostril (we will call this top clog)

Step 3: Take a deep breath in through the mouth, since your nose is super clogged.

Step 4: Using a quick, forceful blow, exhale fully through the top clog. Remember to keep that finger on the nose while doing this.

Step 5: Use the back of your hand to wipe away any residue.

Step 6: Repeat this process on the minor clog side.

Alright! Now you are prepared to face the world with your greener knowledge. If anyone gives you dirty looks, just remember they haven't tapped into that bank of earth lovin wisdom yet, and when all the trees die and no one has aloe lubed kleenex anymore they will be suffering.