Tuesday, August 31, 2010

How to Construct a Beer Badge

What is different today?
Why do you look so distinguished?
Oh, of course.  A beer badge.

Don't you just hate it when you spent a whole 5 minutes or so drinking a beer and then, when you are done, no one believes that you consumed anything?  Here's a dapper way to prove to friends and enemies alike that you are no puss.


Bottle of beer (light beer strongly discouraged)
Pearl snap shirt

Note: If you do not own a pearl snap shirt, you should.  A safety pin will do in a bind.


1. Drink beer (all of it)
2. Peel off label in a careful fashion 
3. Snap into snap of choice (printed side facing out)
4. Continue night with confidence

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ms. Molly's Wisdom Corner... and then some

Well folks, I wanted to post a quote of the day every day, but not every day has a quote worthy of such a prestigious and well written blog, therefore only days that have splendid pearls of homesteadin wisdom will be quoted. This one happens to be from my good friend Robert on Friday in regards to glass in my backyard

"Chickens don't know the difference between glass and not glass!"

Thank you Robert, I strongly agree.

On a different note, I  just want to say that I am super proud of myself because I recently learned to make bagels. Yes, bagels. The ones I made are peanut butter. I will be producing a steady supply of these donut wanna-be gems from here on out and it's likely that my obsession will continue into winter where everyone I know will receive a box for Christmas. (Which then reminded me of when the Atkins diet was really big, I mean, people were really just eating meat. Seriously, my aunt and uncle did it and they were not encouraged to eat vegetables. welcome to medieval Europe.) They key to baking any yeast bread is patience, which in the past has been my biggest downfall. I have tried for two years now to get a decent loaf of sourdough and failed. Someday I will have a digital camera in this new digital age and I will post pictures of all the glorious bagels. In the meantime here is a picture of an old timey jewish bagel peddler:

Friday, August 27, 2010

Why Fruity Pebbles are a Poor Investment

    All nutritional concerns aside, Fruity Pebbles have got to be the worst breakfast cereal consistently available on the market.  Now, I like tiny things, bright colors and the Flinstones as much as the next person,  but not one of these components is prevalent enough to right this disaster of a product.

Okay, let me break down the Pebble experience:
1. Take one bowl of dry, crunchy, beautiful, vibrant little Fruity Pebbles. 
2. Add one cup fucking ice cold 2% milk
3. Observe as your bowl of treasure turns to bullshit
4. Consume what has mysteriously transformed into room temperature porridge that tastes fruit scented rather than fruit flavored.

   The pebble, which consists mostly of sawdust, absorbs moisture not only depleting your milk but destroying its own integrity.  Additionally,  Fruity Pebbles possess the power to turn milk tepid upon impact despite how cold it might have been to start with. 

   You know how disappointing it is to eat the end of a box of cereal?  There is a smattering of intact cereal bits and then a lot of breakfast dust that turns to paste when the milk hits it.  That is every bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

    Purchase Fruity Pebbles only if Cap'n Crunch Oops! All Berries are not in season and you were set on eating a mistake.  Seriously, even if there is a toy inside, it isn't worth it.  Take a pass on the Pebbles.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Molly's Wisdom Corner

Quote of Yesterday:   "There's always room for dessert, in my opinion." -Molly at the Tuesday Ice Cream Social