Friday, September 3, 2010

Snot Rocketing- or the environmentally friendly nose blow

Hey Friends!

In honor of the new month, and a new month of allergies, I will be writing a tutorial on how to blow ones nose without a handkerchief. To some this act may seem rude and ungentlemanly. Fear not! In this day in age, green living comes before all other chivalrous behavior, so jump on the tree huggin train and blow a booger out your nose.

The method described was formulated by a woman (me) who rides her damn bike all over the city in every type of weather, and is most effective for thick snot in the winter months and moderately effective for thinner allergy type drainage. It is least effective for the everyday booger or drip, in which case I recommend a good nose pick.

Step 1:  Decide which nostril is more clogged. This will help in fully clearing the passage without accidental double drainage.

Step 2: Press your index finger to the nostril opposite the most clogged one. Turn and tilt your head slightly (a 30 degree angle should do it) in the direction of the extremely clogged nostril (we will call this top clog)

Step 3: Take a deep breath in through the mouth, since your nose is super clogged.

Step 4: Using a quick, forceful blow, exhale fully through the top clog. Remember to keep that finger on the nose while doing this.

Step 5: Use the back of your hand to wipe away any residue.

Step 6: Repeat this process on the minor clog side.

Alright! Now you are prepared to face the world with your greener knowledge. If anyone gives you dirty looks, just remember they haven't tapped into that bank of earth lovin wisdom yet, and when all the trees die and no one has aloe lubed kleenex anymore they will be suffering.

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